Yet another remix.

Craig Davis and I are traveling aboard his 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee on a winding, ice laden one lane road in the mountains of Chattanooga, TN. Jagged cliff walls encompass our port side, and a 300+ foot drop to sure death ensues if we make an erroneous starboard movement. I’m not exactly sure what our destination is, but we are obviously making an expeditious effort to arrive. Craig’s driving rarely induces anxiety in me, but at any second, unintentional micturition may occur in the passenger seat. 

I suggest a reduction in velocity, “Slow down, man!” but Captain Craig remains obdurate. As we approach a ninety or so degree curve, I feel the angle of his Daimler-Chrysler vehicle shift perpendicular to the path on a patch of solid water. Craig makes an excellent correction for this mishap, and we are again parallel with the angry rock face. 

My nerve endings finally return under my epidermis. When all seems well, Craig decides to reach in the back seat for a handful of his mother’s famous Chex mix. Unsuccessful, he now turns his sight to the rear of the vehicle. I feel the passenger’s side tires drop from the road, followed by the driver’s side tires. 

Now falling freely, Craig and I look at each other. “Well, this is it buddy, it has been the ride of a lifetime” I proclaim. “Yes, it has! See you on the other side, brother!” Craig responds.

It feels as if we are falling in slow motion. As we hit the bottom of the cliff, I feel absolutely nothing. No pain, no impact. I simply transitioned from one form of existence to another. I can’t at all begin to explain what happens now. 

We exit the vehicle without opening any doors, without crawling through the now shattered glass. We begin walking towards the bottom of the mountain, to the city. I see no visible signs of injury on Craig, and none on myself. Subconsciously, I recognize that I’m neither alive nor deceased. 

As we arrive to town, we walk to Chris Davis’ apartment. Walking through the living room was more treacherous than anything we had endured on the mountain. Obstacles littering the living room included exercise equipment, bicycles, and mountain climbing devices. We eventually make it to Chris’ room, where he is standing, almost as if anticipating our arrival. He looks at us and inquires, “What in the hell are y’all doing here? Fuck off.” Without skipping a beat, Craig turns aboutface, and I follow him back out.

We begin a journey on a road I am unfamiliar with. The sun has set, and we see headlights in the distance. The car is speeding relentlessly towards us. We dive synchronously headfirst into a ditch to avoid being struck. Craig then insists that we move forward on our journey, but I am reluctant since neither of us knows where we are. He leaves, and I reach into my pocket to retrieve my iPhone. My headphones are still plugged in, but the plug was bent badly in the accident. I attempt to remove the plug from the jack, but it seems to be jammed inside. I pull a little harder, and as I do, half of the glass casing shatters and falls off in my hands. 

I receive a text message from a girl, but her name is unfamiliar. I try to reply, but because of my phone’s new inoperable state, I am unsuccessful. She asked me to meet her at her house.

I arrive at her house, where she is the eldest of seven beautiful sisters. I know somehow that this is my girlfriend, and that she is carrying my unborn child. Her father invites me to a scuba diving quest in an underwater cave. We explore the cave for a bit, then proceed back to their home. As I begin showering for dinner, her younger sister enters the bathroom. She makes a sexual advance toward me, to which I rebut. She is gone as quickly as she appeared. 

Dinner is over, and my girlfriend and I get in my truck and drive to the general store. We pull into the parking lot, and Matt Milby is standing beside his truck. He walks up to my window, and we began chatting. He asks who the girl is, and for my life, I cannot recall her name. I act as if I can’t hear his question. I again pull out my phone, searching for her name in her text message from earlier. My screen is so disfigured, I can’t read anything. Matt finally introduces himself, and she replies simply “It is so nice to meet you!” 

I still have no clue what this girl’s name is, but I have the utmost feeling of adoration for her. So strange! I know at one point her name was the only word I could say. Now, though, no matter how hard I try, her name is no where to be found. I am shattered, heartbroken and homeless by my own doing. 

I look once more at my phone, discovering it in pristine condition. I still cannot remember her name. 

“Slow down, man!” I proclaim to Craig.

As long as I can recall, I’ve always had very vivid, realistic crazy dreams. In the last few years, I’ve begun to experience lucid dreams. If you’re not familiar with lucid dreaming, it is worth your time to read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream

I’ve been wanting to begin a dream diary for some time now. What better way than publicly recording them? Sure, there will be a handful that I opt out of sharing, but for the most part, they will be here. Hopefully they will entertain y’all as much as they do me. Hopefully.

This is basically an introduction to the new series of posts from me. I may end up starting another blog catered to my dream records, but for now it will be on this one.

Enjoy.

haha I just recently discovered that I really dig P!nk. 

I could be off by a day or so, but today is my one year anniversary to me. I have officially been single (aside from that three day fling) for a year. If you know me well, you know that I’ve always been the “relationship type.” That phrase chills me to the bone because I’ve heard it from people before. It actually makes me sick that people thought that of me before. I heard people say it, and I quickly disputed it, but, it never really worked. I suppose having a girlfriend was like a security blanket of sorts. Like that security blanket that has been puked on, ripped to shreds and smells like the hobo at 3rd and Main. You just can’t shake it. Well…

I have, and oh my! It feels terrific. I have one girl in particular to thank for this feat. I won’t mention her name, but it rhymes with a yellow fruit that my dog LOVES.

We talked every day, mostly when we got home at night. We really got to know each other on a level that is hard to find these days. Long story short, I would have dated this girl shortly after meeting her (as I usually did) but something was different. She wasn’t the type to fall for my antics. It seemed so easy with the other girls in the past, what was I doing different? Well, nothing. So I started trying different things. Still, nothing worked. She was as stubborn as a mule.

As time progressed and I fell more and more for her, and she for me, I thought things were finally going my way around the two month mark. That felt like an eternity to me. BUT - I couldn’t have been more wrong. Finally, I was very honest in how I felt with her. She came out and told me although she had major feelings, she was apprehensive and was very scared to get closer. She basically told me that it would never be. So, my pride sucked me up, and we moved on. Next Chapter.

Needless to say, she had pissed me off. I wouldn’t say I was crushed, but I felt taken advantage of. I had been playing the bitch role of boyfriend, with none of the positive aspects. That, is wrong. I was a little bitch for letting it happen that way. Coincidentally, this was the week before spring break. The week that I don’t remember. Whoops.

It is almost hilarious the way that humans behave sometimes. We always want what we can’t have. I cut off communication with her. I left my phone in our condo almost all day everyday. About two days into my trip, I saw that she had called twice. I did NOT care, and just went about my business. The next day, she had probably texted three or four times, called a few, etc. I still didn’t care. Fourth day into my trip, she called, and I happened to have my phone. Reluctantly, I answered. I was sober at the time. She, on the other hand, was not. At the top of our hotel, I sat there phone in hand for thirty minutes as she confessed her love to me more times than I can count. I still felt some anguish towards the situation, but I told her I’d see her when I got home. She still persistently called/texted me while I was there, but at least I’d heard her out.

Talk about confusion. On top of that, my ex had texted me a bunch, and was basically begging to hang out when I got home. So now, I have two girls that I wanted to be with (at some point), begging for my attention. Still spring break. I said forget yall, and had a blast.

Get home - way later than anticipated. Fruit girl was begging me to come to Stella Maris and hang out with her. I told her I would. Due to delays, I got home around midnight, and was simply too exhausted to go. So, I finally told her I couldn’t come. She called me, and we talked on the phone until like 4 am or something ridiculous.

I’m going to skip a few months here. We have been on and off more times than I can count, and it seems every time one wants to be with the other, the other doesn’t. Maybe she is the reason I haven’t dated anyone, and vice versa, maybe not. All that matters is that even past all the bullshit we’ve put each other through, we love each other in some weird kind of way. I actually just responded to her text from last Saturday. I guess she’s been on my mind a lot.

She may have been (be) putting me through hell, but I have learned more about myself and all the things I need to do for myself, than I ever have. This past year has been all about me, and I am certainly better for it. So thank you, unnamed girl, for not dating me all these 11 months. I’m gunna add more to this but I have to move for the moment.

A man came home from being away at war. It had been months since he had been home, and his baby was born while he was away. As he approached the front door of his home, his faithful dog came running to him. Blood dripped from his mouth, onto his chest. The man rushed into his house, discovering his newborn’s crib turned over in a puddle of blood. In a fit of rage, the man drew his sword, and stabbed his faithful dog in the heart. As he heard his best friend gasp his last breath, he heard the cries of his newborn in the next room. He ran frantically back to the crib, discovering his baby boy completely unharmed, and a wolf covered in blood with his throat ripped out.

I just gave my Tumblr a good thorough douching. It needed it. I am ever so relentless in posting things that sound like they were written by one with an I.Q. of 65. I realize that more and more of you are reading this now;

“But I don’t care what people think!” 

HAHAHA! I’ve heard that before. With absolutely no shame, I can say this; I care a tiny little bit about what some people think. Probably not you, but some people. 

That said, I’m not going to change who I am for anyone. Even if I wanted to (never), it is not possible to do so. People DO NOT change; at least not for another person. If change within oneself occurs, it is completely internal. Anything else is putting on an act, which…mmm pisses me off. I’ve witnessed it. 

I care what I sound and appear like to myself more than I should. I’m so self-critical on my drumming that its disgusting. I know that I’m really good, but I also know how much better I could be. THAT is what pushes me, its what I thrive on. 

All I’m saying is that I am an intelligent being (mostly) and too often I hide it with non-sense. 

This is a valiant effort towards implementing my intelligence. Enjoy the ride!

Yea yea so what. Drum Remixes are fun.

As I sit in the Dr.’s office waiting, I have my Shure In-ear monitors in, listening to one of my favorite band’s new albums. These are really built for onstage/studio performance, to cut out external noise and deliver high-fidelity audio directly to the ear canal. Well, they are doing a great job. Only, I have to pull one out everytime that door opens to hear for my name.

I’m surrounded by old ladies reading magazines, while I multitask between Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. I had a stark realization: I am extremely connected with my circle of friends, but somewhat disconnected to the rest of the world sometimes. 

Now an internal battle is raging as I can’t decide whether to remove my in-ears and put my phone in my pocket, or to continue on as I always do.

Looking back - I’ve dated some great girls. Some of which, I question myself why in the world we broke up. It always comes back to this: It just wasn’t meant to be. So often it seems that I look at what she was on paper - everything fit just right. But when put into practice, it didn’t.

My point is, even when you have all of the ingredients for an explosion, they have to work in conjunction to make the big boom and keep it aflame for any amount of time. Sorry for such a long sentence.

I have no regrets. I’m a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason.

I can’t wait to see what happens next!!!!